I laughed and laughed and laughed

I try not to devote too much attention to gay issues here at Bleakonomy. Lord knows, there are gay-issue blogs aplenty already out there, and I don't think the universe cries out for one more. Having already posted about DADT today, I was a little reluctant to write about another gay-rights topic. But sometimes, when life hands you really hilarious lemons, you have to make really hilarious lemonade. And Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse of the "Ruth Institute" is one funny lemon.

From TPM:

Morse told ONN: "Proposition 8 was passed by a great grassroots coalition that included people from all across the religious traditions, and also people of every race and color. We are the real rainbow coalition. The gay lobby does not own the rainbow."

Morse continued: "We can't simply let that go by. Families put rainbows in their children's nurseries. Little Christian preschools will have rainbows...Noah's Ark and all the animals.... Those are great Christian symbols, great Jewish symbols."

Friends, this is really serious. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen a rainbow-decorated building and gone in expecting a fabulous gay nightspot, only to find I have stumbled into a little Christian preschool. After several testy minutes spent trying to locate the dance floor and complaining about the lack of danceable tunes, eventually I notice all the confused-looking little Christians. Though I try to fit in by discussing some of God's lesser miracles, like ultrasuede, I generally feel pretty unwelcome and leave. Awkward.

But wait, there's more:

Morse operates a blog on the Ruth Institute's website, and recently wrote a post asking supporters of same-sex marriage: "Do you really believe that mothers and fathers are interchangeable and that gender is irrelevant to parenting? If gender is really irrelevant, why do self-described "gays" insist on having a male sex partner? Why isn't a really masculine woman just as acceptable as a male sex partner?"

I love the idea of "insisting" on a male sex partner, as though I sit in my boudoir irritably sending back women while some incompetent waiter keeps getting my order wrong. Some gays will settle for a woman in a pinch, but not me! No, I insist on a man.

Also, I have some worries about Morse's parenting skills if she can't tell the difference between child-rearing and the physical act of love. Because... um... it turns out they're really, really different. Do we need to discreetly arrange for the Department of Family Services to swing by her house?

Lastly, as a medical professional, I feel qualified to make a statement for the record -- men and women are physically different. Even though Johnny Weir and k.d. lang do kind of look like each other if you squint, the differences persist. And, while those differences probably don't impact their relative merits as potential potty-trainers, they probably make quite a difference with regard to other skill sets.

Given that Morse doesn't seem to have a firm grasp on these very basic and easy-to-understand concepts, I wonder how on earth she manages to operate a computer, much less earn a doctorate. Maybe the "Ruth Institute" should make sure her credentials are in order.