Rep. Steve King (R - Clown College)

Having an English father and a taste for contemporary British fiction (as well as assorted Low Entertainments from the BBC), I have developed a fancy for certain turns of phrase that are peculiar to our fellows across the pond. A particular favorite is the term "barking mad," usually reserved for the thoroughly, unmistakably insane.

Illustrating the definition perfectly is Rep. Steve King of Iowa (by way of the New Bedlam Rest Home for the Emotionally Interesting, it seems). He's graced our bandwidth before, what with his gift for making Michelle Bachmann seem almost statesmanlike by comparison. He's been on rather a roll lately.

First, there's this little gem (h/t TPM for this and the next link):

"If there's a push for a socialist society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined and everybody is thrown together living collectively off one pot of resources earned by everyone, this is one of the goals they have to go to, same sex marriage, because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal. They want public affirmation, they want access to public funds and resources."

I will pay cash money to anyone who can explain to me what the hell that means. [Editor's note -- cash money offer only applies to those who schlep to Maine to collect their prize.] Seriously. I don't even know how to go about making fun of this, because it would be like mocking one of those meandering stories that a 3-year-old tells you about his toys. I'm scheduled to phone bank for the No on 1 campaign in a few days, and I look forward to telling the other volunteers there that apparently we're all secret socialists. I imagine it will come as a big surprise to everyone.

Not to slack off when he's got a full head of steam, Rep. King then gave us the following:

In a lengthy speech on the House floor today, Rep. Steve King (R-IA) declared that President Obama is "the star of ACORN, the lead, chief organizer."

Railing against ACORN, King mentioned Obama's comment on Sunday that he hasn't paid much attention to the scandal.

"Really, Mr. President?" King said, revealing the poster of Obama you see at left.

"He's not interested in ACORN? He's ambivalent about it?" King asked. "Curious."

King went on about Obama's involvement with the housing group, saying it was part of the "genesis" of Obama's political life. "He walks with them all the way through."

He then called on every committee in the House to investigate ACORN.

Really, Rep. King? Every committee? Well, that should be something. I can't wait to hear what the Committee on Agriculture has to say about this. (I'm trying to think of a joke about sorghum, but nothing is coming to me.)

I could go on and on and on, but I'm going to stop and leave you with this little hard nugget of truth -- this man, my friends... this man, who lacks the cognitive abilities of your average intestinal nematode, is a member of the House of Representatives of the United States of America.

Iowa must be very proud.