An open letter to parents everywhere

Hi. I'm Dan. You may or may not know me in real life, though if you're reading this blog it's probably a safe bet that we're personally acquainted. (Unfortunately, the people I would most like to read this are people who aren't friends or family. Don't take this personally, F&F! Stay cool!) If you read this blog, you're probably aware that I'm a pediatrician. I may not be your pediatrician, but as a pediatrician, I'm going to go out on a limb and speak for pediatricians in general.

It serves absolutely zero purpose for you to be a mean, demanding jerk to members of my office staff, the phone triage nurse, or anyone else involved in the care of your child. Even if your tune suddenly changes when I enter the exam room or take your call, and you are respectful to me, I will already know if you were senselessly rude to the people who are just doing their jobs taking your initial call or checking you in. I may know full well that you are just a concerned parent, and will try to remind myself that you're probably really nice when you're not stressed and tired with a sick kid. But it does nothing for our relationship when I have to stifle feelings of anger on behalf of my coworkers before we've even exchanged a word.

Thank you. That is all.


  1. Piss of you jerk know it all fancy pants doctor.

    There, I was disrespectful to you so I hope it kind of evens things up. Unfortunately, I don't know any doctors except the ones that are played on TV, so you can be assured I was not mean to any of your staff (which is a kind of strange word to use when referring to your personnel). Have you ever used a rod on your staff?
    I have also never met you in real life, but we are well acquainted in dreamland. You adore me there even though it goes against your nature.


  2. Oh, Charo. I adore you for so very many reasons, in all your glorious aspects.

    Does TNR Talkback count as dreamland?

  3. TNR? The National Review? I certainly don't read that.