Look no further, Mrs. Obama

The First Lady has made tackling childhood obesity her signature issue. While I applaud her zeal and wish her well, I feel that poor Mrs. Obama is swimming against an unfriendly tide.

You see, friends, we live in a country where the following product was created and sold:

That's right, gentle readers. You're looking at a hamburger wherein the bun has been replaced by two grilled cheese sandwiches. The Moreau-like creators at Friendly's (ironic, given how patently they hate your coronary arteries) knew that Americans would react not with horror, but with open wallets and gullets. Any nation where this product was developed, marketed and sold with a straight face is a nation whose citizens will require ever-enlarging airplane seats.

If the Double Down was the event horizon of America's corpulence, this is its singularity.

(Hat tip HuffPo)