Kabloooooooey!!

Dear Bleakonomy readers:

I am a member of Dan's nursing staff, and I am writing to inform you that Dan's head, sadly, has exploded. Shortly before his cranium blew to smithereens, he was heard making strangled noises, apparently in an attempt at speech. All we were able to discern were "What???!?" and "Can't... stand... it... too... stupid... for human... endurance." (We are, frankly, rather impressed with ourselves for making that last utterance out.) He then began to beat his head against his computer, followed closely by a loud popping noise.

When we cleaned the accumulated goo off of his monitor, we saw that he had been reading the following comment by Kathryn Jean Lopez, over at The Corner:

Justice Kennedy. Caroline Kennedy.

If Al Franken can be a United States senator in a fillibuster-proof Senate . . . don't tell me anything isn't possible.

He was, it seems, tragically unable to exist in the same world with a piece of political writing so utterly devoid of any connection to reality, and seemingly composed by playing "liberal bugbear Mad Libs." In accordance with his wishes, we are trying to find a competent plastic surgeon to reassemble his face in a shape that looks like Jake Gyllenhaal's. (The rest of him, unfortunately, will have to stay as-is.) In the meantime, we urge you to exercise extreme caution before reading this, or any other commentary at The Corner.

Consider yourselves warned.