The sad thing is, I bet he thinks he's being tolerant

Oh, my. Between Miss California and now Joe the Plumber, the anti-marriage-equality crowd is practically swimming in spokespeople.

From Christianity Today (!):

Actually, no. No. Before I get to the quote, can we please take a moment and lament that an imbecile like Joe the Plumber is now somehow associated with the same religion founded a couple of thousand years ago by a compassionate and wise man like Jesus of Nazareth? Nice work, Christianity Today. I hope you're very proud.

Now then, the quote:
In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level?

At a state level, it's up to them. I don't want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it's wrong. People don't understand the dictionary—it's called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It's not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we're supposed to do—what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we're supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I've had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn't have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they're people, and they're going to do their thing.


"It's called queer"? What is this "it" of which you speak? Do you mean "gay people," because then the correct pronoun/verb combination would have been "they are." And they (or rather, we) are called "queer," generally by meat-heats like yourself, because being called weird is considered pejorative. It wasn't meant as a neutral descriptor, you nincompoop, it was meant as an insult.

And you had some friends that were "actually" homosexual? As opposed to, say, pretend? Why do I doubt that you and those "friends" were all that close? You wouldn't let them near your kids, though, I see. Well, you can stay the hell away from mine, too.

But we're "going to do [our] thing"? How very tolerant. How very forward-thinking. Thanks, Joe. I appreciate your magnanimity.

Can someone please cue the gigantic cane to drag this empty-headed moron off the damn stage?

(Hat tip The Plank.)


  1. Joe and His Friends (a short play)

    Friend (Let's call him "Bruce" or some other stereotype): So, Joe how goes plumbing?

    Joe: Almost got my license! How goes theatre or whatever you do?

    Bruce (or, "Lance"): I'm an accountant.


    Lance (or "Chase") How are the kids?

    Joe: Stay the hell away from them, Bruce!

    Chase: My name is Pete

    Joe: Are you hitting on me?

    Pete: Listen, I have to run.

    Joe: More like, have to prance. See ya, my good friend.

    Pete: (leaves)

    Joe: (fails to pay taxes)


  2. "Joe: (fails to pay taxes)" may be the best thing I have ever read in my life.

    I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you're boneill?