Oh, and another thing

So, I know that I've probably already given "A Double Shot at Love with the Icky [yeah, I know] Twins" more consideration than it deserves, but the show does more than turn the stomach and offend every sensibility Jane Austen ever had. It also exposes the rank hypocrisy of MTV.

We salute MTV for its progressive and hip, young stance on everything, no? For, if MTV is not hip and young and progressive and cutting edge, whatever good is it for? This was the channel that gave us Pedro Zamora, after all. Surely they have nothing but enlightened attitudes about gays, what with it being 2008 and all, right? Right?

Horse feathers.

We are meant to take the "bisexuality" of the titular twins seriously. (Or as seriously as anything can be taken in such an inane context.) When one of the "hot lesbian" contestants is booted off, due to a "lack of connection," said "lesbian" attributes it to her actually being straight. She was using and exploiting poor Whichever's bisexuality for a shot at fame! Deeply hurt, That One is left dabbing her eyes and holding forth about how this isn't a game, while the other "lesbians" look on with their best attempts at concern and sincerity. How very, very progressive. Thanks, MTV!

But wait, there's more! Soon, the randy herd of Y chromosomes is unleashed. Several introduce themselves to Other One by checking her Lumineers with their tongues, including one mouth-breather so meat-headed he should be USDA certified. The next day, by way of introducing her twin, Who Cares informs the assembled skanks (girl and boy alike) that she has a "part of her" she hasn't told them about, that she's had "all her life." Cut to shocked faces, with a voice-over of a horrified dude saying "I kissed her last night!"

Quelle horreur!! Could she have... a penis!? Oh, my GOD! Inadvertent male gayness! How disgusting for them! How hilarious for us! Oh, MTV, how delightfully subversive! Sadly, the drama ends when Mammary #1 tells the relieved assembly that she's wang-less, and her secret "part" is twin sister Mammary #2.

So, to recap: Female non-heterosexuality? Erotic! Fascinating! And Not To Be Mocked! Male non-heterosexuality? Side-splitting! Gross! Except, of course, when we're all Taking it Very Seriously.

To which I say, from the bottom of my heart -- no thanks, MTV. No, thanks.